Daily Quote

Summer/Life Goal-Do More Yoga

Don't you ever feel like things are going to fast?  This is my constant feeling: that there are a thousand things to do and not enough time to do them in.  I feel like I make tons of life sacrifices that I should really reevaluate for my sanity and happiness.  I give up a lot of family time and me time for things that are just really not that critical.  My worry is that I am not productive enough or working hard enough or getting done what I want to get done.

What is it really I want to get done?  Truthfully what I want is to be the best at all things when I constantly tell myself I am the worst.  I want to be the best person, daughter, wife, teacher, sister, athlete, etc.  This puts on tons of constant pressure, and I always feel this anxiety.  This year it was quite overwhelming, so I am looking forward to having some time to rethink my priorities for self and family and outlook.  I am hoping to take some more me time and try to feel less guilty when I do so.

One of the things I need to get back into that I think will help with that balance is a daily or at least more than once a month yoga practice.  Mom and I used to go weekly to the YMCA; our instructor was fabulous and it was an hour and a half where I didn't worry about whatever else was happening.  I just got to focus on stretching, breathing and feeling really good.  Our great instructor is no longer with the Franklin YMCA because that place is full of shenanigans, but she is out teaching at other areas and I may look into some of her summer classes that are not Franklin based.

I am also resolving to do more independent practice at home.  YouTube fitness channels have been my friend throughout the past fall, winter, spring seasons and I am trying out a 30-day yoga challenge.  The videos are not as long as a full class, but they will be sufficient for getting some quiet time and stretching and self-reflection.  I think this will be a good habit especially once my two classes kick into gear and I need a brain break from the wonders of online learning (blerg).  

My natural inclination is to constantly fill my time with tasks; I don't want to do that this summer.  I absolutely have to-dos and goals, but I don't want days so crammed that I race through my summer and regret not just being still and relaxed for some bits.  So we'll try this out and see what happens.

Something new-A Daily Quote (or semi daily quote depending on myforgetfulness)

Quote of the Day:

It is sometimes overwhelming to consider the possibilities out there and the opportunities I may be missing out on.  My goal this summer is to figure out some more of what I want out of this life and make a plan for how to get there.  

Start of Summer

Happy summer! Or at least pre summer warm up with the Memorial Day weekend upon us.

Yesterday marked the end of this whirlwind of a school year, and it was a doozy.  I knew it would be challenging when I made the grade change from first to fourth, however, I was bowled over by many factors that made this year tough.  I benefitted from working with a great co-teacher who helped offer some guidance and support as well as a super fourth grade team that was not just helpful to work with, but fun and colorful.  I am looking forward to taking a breather for the summer, thinking about how to make next year better and then getting back into it in August.

In jumping into a new season, I made the jump to a new hair color: caramel.  I have always been toying with color to one degree or another and am thankful that my skin/hair is fairly flexible and accepting of the abuses I heap upon it.  The picture only sort of captures the difference in shade; it is much more dramatic in the light and in person.  My hair is solidly in the bob phase where it has a great shape and I am able to have my hairdresser play around with it without desperately wanting to return to the days of the pixie.  I am hoping for ease and fluff to keep the hair off of my neck throughout what will no doubt be a warm and moist summer.

Summer always presents me with time to think about resetting goals and dedicating some brain power to things I am unable to do during this school year.  Reading is always on my to do list and I am currently reading both a fiction and a non-fiction (yay more fiction).  I am about halfway through this book: 

It is an excellent, comprehensive look at what is going on in public education and what parents can do and should expect from their child's schools.  

I am also reading through Girl on the Train and have not yet decided how I feel about it other than I am intrigued about the fascination authors have with presenting stories from multiple alternating perspectives.  

Along with getting some reading done, I am continuing my masters course work and am looking forward after taking a much needed brain break and taking a great PLS class in January and February. 

Good bye for now CE.

Good bye for now CE.  

It was a hard day.  A day to say goodbye to my friends and proverbial family as I put the last few boxes in my car and turned in my key.  Now I sit amongst my boxes of classrooms materials accumulated over just two years and wonder what really needs to be kept as I head into the territory of the unknown.  

It was an angry start to the day as we were misled and lied to by the board and school district administration trying to convince us to take a wage freeze that literally saves no jobs nor helps in any definable manner.  The admin was willing to let us believe that they willingly threw themselves on the blade by taking a freeze where here it turns out they were told by the board there would be no raises this year.  I am not crying real tears for them as they manage to keep their positions as I say good bye to my coworkers and friends.  Then when asked if a wage freeze helps reinstate a cut postion, the superintendent explains that those positions are not needed and so no, nothing is done as a result of the freeze.  What a terrible job selling this bogus plan!  You are not getting hired in retail or the food service anytime soon.  

 

Avoiding the Bitter

Not ready for tomorrow

Tomorrow I will say good bye to a great group of kids.  They were amazing and fun and funny and kind and I hope they enjoyed the year as much as I enjoyed getting to be their teacher.  Who know if I will see them again and in what capacity.  Monday I will say good bye to my colleagues for the summer and possibly for an indeterminable amound of time.  To say the past several weeks have been fraught would be an understatement.  I am angry and sad and tired all of the time.  My mother is thankful I have not replaced food with running and I am so glad I have had a great group of kids to keep me focused on what is the objective.  My husband is never short of hugs and understanding, and my coworkers are never short of words of kindness and hope as I move through this mysterious period.  However, I feel so unable to move in any direction and paralyzed by anger/sadness to change my course and figure out what is next.  I am not ready for what tomorrow brings, I would just prefer to freeze the moment and stay there indefinitely.