Monday, June 8, 2015

Good bye for now CE.

Good bye for now CE.  


It was a hard day.  A day to say goodbye to my friends and proverbial family as I put the last few boxes in my car and turned in my key.  Now I sit amongst my boxes of classrooms materials accumulated over just two years and wonder what really needs to be kept as I head into the territory of the unknown.  

It was an angry start to the day as we were misled and lied to by the board and school district administration trying to convince us to take a wage freeze that literally saves no jobs nor helps in any definable manner.  The admin was willing to let us believe that they willingly threw themselves on the blade by taking a freeze where here it turns out they were told by the board there would be no raises this year.  I am not crying real tears for them as they manage to keep their positions as I say good bye to my coworkers and friends.  Then when asked if a wage freeze helps reinstate a cut postion, the superintendent explains that those positions are not needed and so no, nothing is done as a result of the freeze.  What a terrible job selling this bogus plan!  You are not getting hired in retail or the food service anytime soon.  

 

Not ready for tomorrow

Tomorrow I will say good bye to a great group of kids.  They were amazing and fun and funny and kind and I hope they enjoyed the year as much as I enjoyed getting to be their teacher.  Who know if I will see them again and in what capacity.  Monday I will say good bye to my colleagues for the summer and possibly for an indeterminable amound of time.  To say the past several weeks have been fraught would be an understatement.  I am angry and sad and tired all of the time.  My mother is thankful I have not replaced food with running and I am so glad I have had a great group of kids to keep me focused on what is the objective.  My husband is never short of hugs and understanding, and my coworkers are never short of words of kindness and hope as I move through this mysterious period.  However, I feel so unable to move in any direction and paralyzed by anger/sadness to change my course and figure out what is next.  I am not ready for what tomorrow brings, I would just prefer to freeze the moment and stay there indefinitely.